I failed...

My name is Amanda and I have Gestational Diabetes.

I guess it's just something I'm going to have to accept. I feel like a failure. Like somehow I have let down myself, Brian, and Gabriel. Like I should be a better mom. But, I know deep down that it's really not something that I have control over. Either I have it or I don't.

So, I have to go pick up my monitoring kit this evening, and I will be waiting to hear from the diabetic teacher at the hospital. She and I will meet to discuss a diet and exercise plan. (Ugh...exercise!) They are faxing over a diet plan for me today...which will tide me over until I get my specialized one.

I have to check my blood sugar levels 4 times a day, record those levels, and record everything I eat. Fun stuff, right? The good news is that my levels aren't so bad that I need to be on any medication.

After I have the baby and I go in for my 6 week check up I will have to do another 2 hour glucose test. If I fail that one then I will have to see my general practitioner about further testing, etc.

So, I'm going to go for a walk with Grace. That usually helps me feel a little better, and then I'm going to crawl under a blanket and watch Dr. Phil so at least I can feel like maybe my life isn't that bad...at least I'm not having major problems and sharing them with the world on a TV show!

For more info on Gestational Diabetes go here: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/gestational-diabetes/DS00316