SAHMs Revisited — The Lipscomb Adventures

So, awhile back I posted about being a SAHM and what that means to me. I also had a video from the Colbert Report with Linda Hirshman who I thought was a real moron. (Just my opinion though.)

I figured, now that I have been a SAHM for the last 2 months I would update you on my feelings.

Okay...first off...hardest job ever! I adore every moment I spend with little Gabriel, but keeping an infant entertained all day and getting the house taken care of, and running the errands with a baby...exhausting!!! And yes, I do feel a sense of responsibility to get all of this done. I have accepted the fact that it won't always happen though. Sometimes things don't go according to plan and I'm learning that that is okay. As a teacher I got so used to having a rigid schedule I forget that Gabriel has yet to learn what that word means. :)

_______________________________________

I also wanted to speak to some of the points Sonja made in the comments section on the previous post, as being 9 months pregnant and about to deliver (2 days later), I didn't really get a chance. :) So, I will address them one at a time. (I'm looking forward to a good discussion here, Sonja.) ;)

You mentioned that both mom and dad should be involved in child-rearing. Just because one parent is home and the other is working doesn't mean that they aren't both involved. The ways they are involved are different, but I do feel that Brian and I are both involved in Gabriel's life. (Although I am learning at a faster pace since I'm home all day.)
Yes, SAHMs are compensated for the work they do...but not monetarily, no. I am rewarded every day with smiles and "n-gahs." Every time Gabriel wants his mommy I am "compensated." And most people who choose to be SAHMs aren't worried about the money...otherwise they wouldn't be doing it.
Yes, it is a loss for women financially...although I consider (and always have...even when I was earning money) the income we generate to be ours. Not his and hers. What either one of us brings in belongs to the family...not to the individual. And I support the family by raising responsible and contributing individuals. You also said a loss in the family decision making...yeah, maybe if it was the 50's. But, my opinion is of even greater value to Brian now because I know what's going on at home and with our child at all times. And being a naturally strong woman means I will be heard...no matter what! :) And who made me a strong woman...my working father and stay at home mother. :) For other women this may be an issue, but I can only speak to what I know. I also know that my dad respected my mom's opinions as well. So, maybe my mom set a good example on how to pick a good husband. :)
As far as rejoining the workforce. Any responsible person should keep up with what is going on in their field and maintain connections. That is just good business sense. (Although, admittedly, many people lack this common sense.)
I have no intention of getting divorced. Maybe this is naive of me, but I believe that when I said my vows I meant them. That doesn't mean that we don't have difficult times, but who said marriage was easy? As a Catholic I don't believe in divorce. I believe in getting help if your marriage needs it, but honestly...don't commit if you can't see spending the rest of your life together. (A whole bigger issue, that I will have to leave for another time.)
I believe I am setting an amazing example for my children. You mentioned independence and the pressure of maintaining the rights of women in our society. That is exactly what I am doing. I chose to work for 6 years and then I chose to stay at home (for the foreseeable future). I am setting an example for my children by making choices...choosing to do what I think is right. (And as I mentioned, I don't think being a SAHM is right for everyone.) I don't think my mom set me back, or women's rights back by staying home. She worked hard...harder than I ever imagined. I think she actually showed exactly what women's rights is truely about...choice! Why does my child have to become an after thought so I can further women's rights in the work place? Aren't I furthering the cause by making choices for myself? And don't I have a responsibility, when choosing to have a child, to raise that child to the best of my ability? In my opinion...setting an example for my children from an early age on how we learn, how we treat others, how to be responsible for ourselves (and those we choose to bring into this world)...that is an amazing contribution to society. And maybe...maybe people would be a little less selfish if they gave of themselves some more. Do I get something for myself out of being a SAHM? Sure. I mentioned a few of them in point #2. But, I give a lot by being one and I hope that makes the world a better place for everyone...not just women. And my children will always know that I value education and the professional world...even if I never rejoin it myself. (I think my standing as an educator shows that.)
Have you ever asked your mom how she would feel if you were a SAHM? Not that you want to be...just curious. I really hope she wouldn't be disappointed. It truly is an amazing job. Definitely undervalued by society. (Oprah agrees it's the hardest job there is...and who doesn't listen to Oprah?! lol

Alright...fire away, Sonja! :)
________________________________________

With all of that said...it hasn't always been an easy adjustment. Brian and I have had to iron out a lot of things...what my job is...why I need assistance sometimes (even with things that seem like they would fit under my "job description.") Trust me...it isn't always smooth sailing by any means. But, I wouldn't trade being a SAHM for anything. I am thrilled with my decision, and as tense as those moments get when we're trying to figure it all out...it is always worth it in the end. Gabriel is already 2 months old! Time has flown by, and if I was working...think of all of those precious hours that would be slipping away from me. I honestly don't think you can understand that feeling until you become a mom. I look at his little face and think...how did you get so big already? Soon you'll be a teenager and the last thing you'll want to do is spend time with your "mommy."

I am building a treasure trove of memories by staying at home with Gabriel. He'll only want to play "Space Baby" for so long with me. And if the vacuuming doesn't get done this week...that's okay. I had 20 more minutes with my son, and that is worth more than a clean house. (Besides...it will just get dirty again anyway.) :)